Don't let pronouns get you down

Jessica finds new ways of expressing herself every day, but the rules of grammar still confuse her.  We had a “Who’s on First?” conversation one day when I was reminding her to say “please,” “thank you,” and “you’re welcome.” It started when Jessica handed me the Kleenex I had asked her to get for me.

Me:  Thank you.

Jess:  I’m welcome.

Me:  No, babe, you tell me, “you’re welcome.”

Jess:  Yes, I’m welcome.

Me:  No. I’m welcome, so you tell me, “you’re welcome.”

Jess:  I’m welcome.

Me:  When I say “thank you,” you tell me, “you’re welcome.”

Jess:  OK.

Me:  Thank you.

Jess:  Welcome.

Ever after, in response to anyone thanking her, she responds, “Welcome,” to cover all bases.